My First Year Living in New York City
One year in New York City. I remember when this goal was so far fetch to me. I think back to the years and time I took to clearly plan this for myself. I worked hard, I saved money I made it happen. This goal I set at 17 I made it happen.
First visit to New York; Spring 2011.
Since my move my plans have changed, the way they have changed for so many people in the world. Instead of spending hours working I spent so many hours “stuck” at home. The time I had set to meet new people and make new opportunities was now spent thinking of ways to stay in this beautiful city and make it worth it. I gained 20 glorious pounds, I watched endless hours of tv, started a blog and spent way too much of my savings. The crazy thing is I don’t regret a single thing. I was meant to be here in this moment, at this age through these circumstances all to remind myself that I am capable of everything I have set my mind to.
I hope that if you’re scared to get out there and walk away from your comfort zone this post inspires you. If I can do it, so can you. Trust me.
Why New York?
Honestly, why not?! It’s the city of opportunities, the city where dreams are made. “If you can make it here you can make it anywhere”, that’s what they say right? I can think of three times where I was like “that’s it I’m moving”. But in all those moments the time wasn’t right. When I moved here I felt I was completely ready to leave everything and everyone that made me feel safe. I wanted more. More for my career, more for myself more for the future. I was at a point in my life where what I was offering this world just didn’t seem like enough. So I sought out for more.
The people of New York!
People here are great! The ones I’ve met so far anyway. Everyone is focused on getting shit done! It really is a fast pace way of life. I’d see people with long coats and suitcases zoom past me heading to the subway, I’ve gotten really good book recommendations just by seeing what the artsy hipster is reading on the train. People are always chasing more which makes me want to do more! The everyday commute fills me with drive and really good cardio lol I’m always inspired by the people that seem so focused on where they are headed. Before the pandemic I was lucky enough to make friends right away. Although It was short lived I have memories I hope to never forget.
Dating In the City
How’s dating going? The question of the year. As if I came here to date haha. I didn’t, But I have gone on some pretty awesome dates. The men here are different, not sure if it’s their way of life or the stories of where they come from that make them seem more interesting to me. I have yet to be on a “bad date” both pre COVID and even post COVID. Obviously things are different now. Social distanced dates are a thing, you have to actually interact with the other person. This has allowed all the singles to get out of their “dinner and drinks” bubble and get just a little more creative. I’ve gone on the best hiking dates, city sightseeing dates, Been to youthful and serious museums, I’ve played frisbee in Central Park for the first time, I’ve enjoyed competitive workout dates and “let’s drink wine on my rooftop kind of dates.” Staying healthy and safe is the main priority right now and men here respect that. It’s more about getting to know someone new and enjoying human interaction and that right there is my cup of tea. I’ve been treated with nothing but respect and I appreciate that!
Pros and Cons
Living here has opened my eyes up in so many ways, things I had no idea were even “real” because I was in this day to day Miami living mentality. Some Moments that made me think wow this really is a reality for some people. White privileges, discrimination, homelessness, all things that I never saw because they were never happening to me! But in all that I’ve seen ways of how to make a difference how to not be a part of the problem and how to keep growing in knowledge so that everything I learn is put to good use. Here’s a list of some lighter pros and cons of living in the city.
Pros:
This city is full of opportunities so much so, I feel like I can do it all.
Endless amounts of coffee and bagel shops. Hence 20 lb weight gain.
So many amazing places to eat! I’ve made and entire check list.
There’s always something to do. Even if it’s just hanging out at the park.
Cons:
DOING LAUNDRY! Walking down Lexington with a full load isn’t fun.
Subway smells. It’s pretty bad sometimes I won’t even lie.
Midnight crazies on the Train. I’ve acquired ways to keep them away. Look angry! Haha
And what almost kept me from moving here. RATS they are everywhere and I scream every single time!
Brooklyn, NY
Time Out Market Brooklyn, NY
Being Homesick
Every few months I’ll let out a cry, a really good ugly cry! My sister is usually at the receiving end of them. I miss my family of course, I miss my friends and my old coworkers. like I said, all the things that make me feel safe. But the thing about that is that all these people were the ones who believed in me, the ones who pushed me to make this happen for myself. They’re the people that when I talked about moving and why I was moving looked at me and said “you’re going to be great up there”. So when I get home sick or FOMO I think of them, of how they have faith in me and what I’m able to accomplish sometimes even more than I do in myself. How lucky am I to have a home and a place where I feel at home.
New York State
Life in NY through a Pandemic
When I moved to New York my goal was to work, work, work. I had a goal in mind and I was ready to achieve it. Clearly this year had other plans for me. As I quickly saw so many Americans lose their jobs I became one of them. I was laid off of work March 2020 just as I was being promoted and everything was going as planned. Me?, Someone who had never been laid off and had been working since the age of 15 it was hard for me. I cried a lot and mourned my dreams. Nonetheless I knew that there was so much more going on in the world and I had to be happy to even be alive.
Being away from my family was rough, then my parents got sick and everything changed for me. Every decision I ever made was put into question. “Why did I move here?!” “Why did I work so much?” “why did I miss so many moments?” “Am I being a terrible daughter?!” Possibly losing everything will do that to you. My family is my entire world, no opportunity seemed significant enough to justify being away from them. Luckily my parents got better and even from afar they were the ones listening to me sob telling me everything would be okay.
My heart breaks for the people who lost someone through this, in the end no amount of money or success can give you what the people that love you can give. I’ve spent more time with my family this year than ever before. Now I’m finding ways to do what I love cook, write, lead without having to sacrifice so much. My idea of a career has changed, the way I see things has changed. I have changed. I am a chef and so much more. Can’t wait to see what the next year brings! This isn’t the end for me!
Words of advice
To every Friend, Mentor, Parent all I have to say is..
“Tell your kids you love them, remind them of their greatness, support their dreams, tell them they are capable of everything and see how they become all that they can be.” This is what my parents did for me. And there is no way to every repay them, because I truly believe I am capable of anything I set my heart to.
With love,
Ashley
People never forget two things, their first love and their first day in New York City.
Nov,8 2019
